So it must be
by TheMagnaka
Summary: Merlin is in serious trouble, but what happened? whump. beta by TheJunebug1218
1. So it must be

It was a cold and beautiful winter day. Arthur narrowed his eyes as the sun's light mirrored off the surface of the ice. Then he turned to look at Merlin who stood on the rampart, watching at the sky. Arthur noticed how tired he looked. Their latest adversity had taken all of their all strength, but Merlin seemed to be even more exhausted than Arthur. Of course, Merlin refused to rest. He claimed that he was okay, when everybody could see that he wasn't.

"Merlin."

"Yes Arthur?" Merlin's voice was so weak. He didn't turn his gaze away from the sky.

"Are you alright?" Maybe this time he could get some answers.

"Look at how beautiful the sky is. It's so blue and bright. I want to fly."

Arthur though that if there was a strong wind, it would take Merlin up into the sky, seeing how fragile and small he was now.

"You have no wings Merlin."

Merlin chuckled, like Arthur said something really funny.

"You know, maybe I have."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Merlin turned his eyes to Arthur, but his gaze seemed to be somewhere else. They were where Arthur could never see.

"Did I ever tell you about when I finally met my father?"

Arthur startled. "No, you have never said that."

"No, I didn't, you are right. I have never told you about that." Merlin nodded and stared again at the sky.

"When was that?"

"Years ago. It… it was a short meeting. I got him back. And then I lost him again. He never told me… He never had time to tell, but I know what he must have felt when he looked up at the sky. Because I feel that same longing. That eternal yearning. And every time I feel the wind up there, I can feel free. I'm like a dragonfly. When you dive in the white clouds, it's like you hold the scepter of air. I hope he felt that too, before he… Before he died. I hope his last fly was tender." Merlin swayed and Arthur grabbed his arm to support him.

"Merlin…"

"I hope that the winds got him. That they carried him away. I cried so much that day…" Merlin collapsed to his knees and pulled Arthur with him.

"So it must be…"

"Merlin, stay with me. Merlin!" Arthur yelled when Merlin fell down into the snow.

"Merlin!"

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><p><strong>I got my inspiration for this from Kaija Koo's song Viimeinen lentoThe last fly.**

**beta by TheJunebug1218 (thank you so much again)**


	2. Now and Then

_Then…_

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When Bran entered the study he met, for the first time, Camelot's new young king. Arthur stood behind his desk, smiling lightly.

"Welcome to Camelot, your royal highness." Arthur bowed. Bran's bow was deeper, as he greeted his host. "I'm glad that your majesty accepted my request to meet you."

"Please, sit. How can I help you in your quest?" Arthur was curious.

"I've tried to gain some information, sire. And I have heard of your magnificent library. I ask permission to find some answers from there." Bran said looking straight into king's eyes. Arthur leaned forward and opened his mouth when all of sudden the door was thrown open and a lanky young man rammed himself into the room.

"Arthur, I… "He started, but noticed the situation and it seemed as if he had only just figured out where he really was.

"Oh, I… sorry, I was just… it can wait… sorry…" the man tried to retreat but the king stopped him.

"God's sake Merlin, try to learn to knock, will you? Especially in this room! Now, what it is?" Arthur didn't sound angry, just annoyed.

"Oh, just, Gwaine and I… Mainly Gwaine…" the man glanced at Bran.

"Is this what you two spoke about yesterday?" Arthur asked suspiciously.

"Um… yes." Bran watched the man shift nervously between one foot to the other.

"All right. Tell Sir Gwaine that he'll just have to go there and ask if he can use it. He has my permission." Arthur sighed.

"Um… okay. And, sorry again." The man started to retreat toward the door but Arthur stopped him again.

"Merlin, you know the way to the library. Before you go with Sir Gwaine…"

The man winched.

"… Escort Prince Bran to the library. And make sure that he has a room to stay comfortably in."

"Yes sire. Your Highness." The man bowed to Bran who stood up and looked at the king.

"Thank you, sire."

"I'm sure that Geoffrey of Monmouth, our genealogist and records keeper can help you to find whatever information you seek. And, you are welcome to dine with me tonight. I want to hear more, but I'm afraid that I have some other duties now." Arthur smiled apologetically.

Bran thanked and bowed again promising to come to dinner. Then he followed the man out into the hallway.

"I'll… lead the way, sire." The man turned around once like he was identifying where he was and where to go. Then he took a wrong step to the right and almost tripped over his own foot, but found his balance quickly. "This way."

"Can I ask something?" Bran asked when he followed the man who nodded in affirmative.

"You name?"

"Ah, Merlin, sire."

"Are you a servant of the royal household?" Bran couldn't match this man with any normal servant's standard.

The man grinned. "The king's personal manservant, yes, sire. Hard to believe?"

Bran grinned too and nodded. He liked this man. There was something about him.

"You don't act like a mere servant."

Merlin looked away from him. "Mere servant, maybe not." He mumbled. They walked in silence for a while and Bran watched Merlin greeted the guards and other servants, smiling and remembering everybody's name. He managed to organize Bran's room and other things with just a couple of kind words here and there.

"Can I ask, sire." Merlin abruptly turned to look at the prince. Bran blinked.

"Yes, go ahead."

"What information you are seeking?"

"The knowledge about certain compass and where is might be." Bran answered before he even knew why he answered for the servant.

"Oh?" Merlin sounded surprised.

"It's… it's called the Golden Compass. It shows… like…what you want… most." Bran stammered.

Merlin tilted his head side to side and nodded.

"Sound great. I hope you find it. Oh, here we are. The royal library." Merlin voice sounded longing when he stared at the doors and he sighed deep. "I have to go. Gwaine is waiting. Good luck, sire."

"Thank you." Bran watched Merlin jogged away.

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_Now…._

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It reminded her of Uther. How he was just sitting there. Still. The atmosphere was depressing. Just as if everything was already lost. But now, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Merlin sat there, not moving, his face toward the window. Gwen sat beside him.

"It was kind of Arthur to give you this room. The view over Camelot, it's magnificent. Do you like it?"

No answer.

"Bran is going to be here soon. He sent a message."

Gwen put her hand over Merlin's motionless hand. How cold his skin was. Like he was dead. But she felt the heartbeat even though it was a weak.

"I… I hope you get well soon." Gwen stood up and leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. But she received no reply. She could not prevent the tears anymore.

"Merlin… come back. Wherever you are. Come back to us." She begged quietly.

But there was no answer from Merlin.

Only the silence and Gwen's sobbing.

Merlin's empty eyes watched the sky behind the window.

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><p><em>Oh, in this chap, hint of Supernatural, Golden compass and Pirates of the Carribean LOL.<em>


	3. Merlin is Merlin

_alright, this and previous chapters are betaed by TheJunebug1218 (thank you so much again:)_

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><p><em>Then…<em>

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"It's because my older brother, Will. He has been missing now for over two years and my father is fatally ill. If I don't find him, I have to take the crown." Bran explained. He was sitting at the right side of the king, and very beautiful lady sat opposite of him. Next to her sat her older brother, one of the knights of Camelot. Lady Guinevere was Arthur's betrothed, and if the rumors were true, she was a blacksmith's daughter. A blacksmith, who Uther had executed. But when Bran watched the woman, he wondered if those rumors were actually true. To him, Lady Guinevere acted like a real princess and future Queen. And how she looked at her fiancée, it was all for love.

To Bran, it didn't really matter who Lady Guinevere was. Bran's mother was originally a commoner. In their kingdom, it wasn't such a big deal. It was a little mountain realm, full of sheep. The feasts were small, more like a family supper, and Bran was grateful of that. He just couldn't stand those big feast and celebrations. The servant behind the king looked nervous as he poured more wine into the goblet. Arthur turned to look at him.

"Merlin isn't back yet?"

"No sire." The servant yelped and bit of wine dashed on the floor. Arthur sighed and Guinevere patted his hand and looked at the other servants around them.

"I think you can all go now. And if Merlin shows up, please tell him that we want to meet with him."

The servants bowed and left.

"Speaking the truth, I don't think that I am ever truly going to get used to having my own maid and servants." Lady Guinevere stood up and took the wine. She began fulling the goblets expertly.

"So, the rumors…" Bran started.

"I'm blacksmith's daughter. I used to be Lady Morgana's maid." Lady Guinvere smiled proudly.

Bran noticed the shadow of that name. He had heard of her. The witch who claimed to be rightful heir of Uther Pendragon. Before Bran could ask any more, the door slammed open and Merlin walked in.

"You wanted to see me?"

The servant swayed slightly, but it did not go unnoticed by Guinevere.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Guinevere asked apprehensively. Merlin shook his head.

"Too busy."

"Then sit down and eat. I don't want you to collapse yet. There is still some work to do." Arthur commanded and Merlin sat with a big smile on his face.

"So?" Elyan asked curiously and Merlin's smile was wider than ever.

"It was a big success."

"I knew it." Elyan laughed and Arthur shook his head.

"So, Sir Gwaine now has a new horse."

"No." Merlin stuffed food in his mouth.

"No? Then what…"

"I have a new horse. Gwaine didn't succeeded."

Guinevere burst out laughing.

"Congratulation my friend." Elyan grinned.

"Poor Sir Gwaine." Arthur smiled with amusement. Merlin turned to look at Bran. "So, have you found anything?"

"Yes, I did. But I'm not so sure what it is I found." Bran answered. "There is one book, but part of the writing is in some foreign language. I need someone to help me translate it."

"What language it is? Do you know?" Arthur asked.

"Your librarian said that it was the old language. He tried to translate but said that there was something odd about it. He couldn't do it."

Bran noticed that Merlin wasn't looking at him anymore, that he was avoiding Bran's gaze.

"Then I suggest that you ask our court physician. Merlin?" Arthur looked at his servant who nodded and looked again at Bran.

"Come tomorrow morning. Gaius is busy right now. Now, excuse me sires, my lady." Merlin stood up and placed the slight kiss Guinevere's forehead. "Thank you."

"You should keep better care of yourself Merlin."

Merlin didn't answer, just bowed and was gone.

"Arthur…" Guinevere looked the king.

"I know. I try to speak with him." Arthur sighed. "But if he doesn't listen to you, I can't do much more."

Guinevere nodded and looked at Bran. "I feel that you are curious about the situation."

Bran smiled. "Just a little bit."

"Merlin is my dearest friend, ever since he came to Camelot and I was just a servant myself. And because he is Arthur's manservant…"

"He is my friend too." Arthur muttered behind his goblet.

"... He has gained a special spot among us." Guinevere explained and Bran nodded.

"And for some reason, you are worried about him?"

"He hasn't been well lately. He was really sick last winter and then he was wounded and… I don't think that he has healed completely yet. Gaius, Merlin is his ward, is trying to do something, but Merlin… "

"Merlin is Merlin. He does not listen to anyone. Not even if it takes him to the grave." Arthur put his goblet away, he seemed angry. "Someday…"

"Don't say it Arthur. Someday he'll tells us what is going on. But we can't force him, we all know that." Guinevere shook her head and looked his brother. "Elyan?"

"I'll speak to the others too." Elyan promised.

"Thank you. Now, I have to go. Arthur."

Arthur stood up and kissed Guinevere's hand. Elyan escort his sister out.

"I hope that Gaius can help you. If you need anything, ask Merlin." Arthur said to Bran.

"I think that I will go back to the library to see if I can find something else." Bran bowed and Arthur was gone too. Bran sighed. He was one step closer to his goal and he really hoped that the court physician could help him more.

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_Now…_

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Gaius wrapped Merlin up in blankets and placed him on the edge of the bed.

"I'm too old for this. Do you hear? But…" He swept a hand through Merlin's dark hair. Merlin didn't respond. If someone put food in his mouth, he ate. If someone pulled him by the hand, he walked. He was like a doll that they were able to steer. He just sat at the window, his head turned to look at the sky. But nothing else. There were no words, no emotions, no pain.

"Your hair has grown." Gaius sighed sadly. Then he revealed Merlin's shoulder and noticed several silver streaks on the skin.

"These marks." Gaius carried his hand over Merlin's shoulders. The skin was cool, but the streaks felt warm. "What are these? What did you do Merlin? And why?"

But like always. He didn't get any answers.


	4. Between the choices

Then…

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Bran came to ask for help from Gaius early in the morning, before the physician was to begin his morning rounds. The prince had passed Merlin earlier in the corridor when servant was supporting an overloaded tray on it's way to the king. Merlin was muttering something when he passed, without noticing Bran walking past.

"I'm late, I'm late, he kill me…"

Bran briefly glanced at him with concern.

"So, you must be Bran Fendigaidd." Gaius said when Bran finally arrived. "Merlin told that you have something to show me. A book?"

Bran took out a book and placed it gently on the table with caution. Gaius opened it and glanced at the first pages.

"The old language, and a very old dialect. So, what part would you like to explore more?"

Bran flipped the pages until it showed them a picture of a very peculiar-looking compass.

"The Golden Compass. The one that shows you the way to the thing you seek most. Very powerful and very very old object. It's says, oh, this is hard to read. I wish Merlin could be here right now." Gaius muttered. He focused for a moment, trying to read the passage.

"There is some history written here. It's original use was more like a spiritual guide. It showed you how to find yourself, I don't understand this clearly, your true self? Then there were some modifications. Now it's used to show you the way to where you want to go most, literally. But this says, that it's guarded by… I don't know what this means. Some kind of fire monster? I can't be sure. It was created far in the east. It migrated over the centuries to the west. As far as…" Gaius took deep breath. "As far as Atlantis. It's last king asked for advice, and was saved from destruction. Then, there is nothing more."

Bran sighed with disappointment. "Dead end again. Atlantis? Then it's gone forever."

"No, no no no. Listen. Atlantis' last king asked advice and was saved. Of course, he took the compass with him. Atlantis, Atlantis… I have it somewhere in here." Gaius started to delve into the huge pile of books in the corner. Before Bran could do anything to help the door opened.

"Sire? Great, you are here." Merlin smiled. "Someone was looking for you." Merlin stepped aside and revealed the person behind him.

"Esca? What are you doing here?" Bran yelled and looked at his old friend. Esca shook his head with sorrow.

"I have a message. Your father, our king, is dying. He is asking for you to come home."

Bran froze. Not now. Not now, when he was so close…

"Ah, I found it! Listen. Atlantis' last king was Avallach!" Gaius exclaimed suddenly.

They turned to stare him.

"So?" Merlin asked finally.

"Avallach! God's sake Merlin. The Fisher King!"

Merlin paled. "What?"

"Avallach came to this island and settled beside a large lake to live in peace. He had achieved a lot, and lost everything. He was badly wounded, and focused on the study of magic. You know what happened then." Gaius explained.

"Do you mean, the Perilous Lands? Do I have to go there?" Bran asked. He looked little bit terrified of though. "I heard that the king haunts the castle."

"No, the Fisher King is dead and gone." Merlin said quietly. Bran looked at him in surprise. Merlin quickly looked the other way. "I and Gwaine have been there, we know the road. If you want our help, that is."

"Of course, but your duty in here… And my father…" Bran didn't know what to do. Merlin watched him struggling between the choices. Esca opened his mouth to say something but Merlin got first.

"You are too close. You can't be even sure if you make anyway in time to take your father's place before he is dead. Ask Arthur. That won't do any harm. And you have to hurry. If you get some knights to go with you, it's better that way, when we go into that realm. Believe me. And, Arthur knows that too. So, just go and ask." Merlin's tone was deep and calm.

Bran stared at this man, who sounded more like advisor than a servant. Bran realized that behind that innocent and clumsy mask was something more. Something very old and very wise. There was a flash in Bran's mind. Will used to tell him how he sometimes saw behind the person's mind, and Bran was laughed inwardly. But now... He foresaw that the burden Merlin bore was greater than any king ever had. It was a frightening realization. Who was this man?

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Now

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"Is he dying?" Arthur asked. He and Gaius stood in the door way, their eyes on Merlin.

"Yes." Gaius sighed. "He has got weaker and weaker every day. He doesn't eat well, and he doesn't move. He is just withering away. And the marks, they are spread out along his back and legs. When Bran returns, I hope we will get some answers."

"He is running late." Arthur murmured.

"This winter is hard. The weather…"

"I know, I know. I… " Arthur shut his eyes. "I shouldn't let them go back then. Why I did that anyway. It sounded like a good idea. I couldn't go, but Merlin and Gwaine… I should have seen that something was wrong when they came back. Before we all went to the north and… It's my fault."

Gaius' hand fell onto the king's arm. "No, this is not your fault. This was not anyone's fault. And I ... That day when I told Bran, I saw something about Merlin. I can't explain it, but he had to go. With him, Bran managed to find his brother. And now Bran is coming back to us. "

"How long Gaius? How much time does he have left?"

"Not long, sire." Gaius admitted. "Not long."

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><p><em>Thank you your reviews, I now allow the anonymous reviews and I hope you behave, okay?<em>

_So, Fisher King, I really wanted to use him. There is lot of diferent kind of versions at him, so I just pick up something and I do my own version LOL. _

_Some of you maybe noticed some characters names like Will (not Merlin's friend's name, but if you put Bran and Will together maybe you notice it), Bran Fendigaidd and Esca. _


	5. I'm just Merlin

_Then…_

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Bran thought, when he saw Merlin's new horse, that it fit him perfectly. It was black and small, calm but there was more fire buried inside than any of other horses he saw in the courtyard. It walked an unsettled stride and tapped Merlin's back.

"So, you named it?" Sir Gwaine asked. He looked longingly at the horse. Merlin looked at the stallion and smiled. "Not yet. Isn't he beautiful?" Merlin sounded so proud, but then he sighed. "But he has a very high temperament and is difficult trying to treat him kindly."

Gwaine laughed and tried to pet its shiny black hair, but the stallion turned its head and looked at the knight warningly. Gwaine quickly pulled his hand away.

"What breed it is?" Bran asked. "I'm sure that I haven't saw anything like that before."

"He is Arabian. He was found on the coast, apparently after a shipwreck." Merlin explained.

"Merlin is the only one who has been able to ride it." Gwaine's voice sounded prideful of his friend.

"He truly is black like the night." The king arrived. He looked to Merlin. There were no words, but Bran watched the silent conversation taking place between them while the others were waiting.

"Don't you two do anything stupid." Arthur glanced toward Gwaine who rolled his eyes. "Elyan? Percival? Keep them out of trouble. Bran, I hope you like your company. And, good luck."

"Thank you sire."

"Just call me Arthur. Come back when everything is over. "

"Yes, Arthur." Bran smiled. They mounted the horses, but before they left, Arthur and Merlin made the quick silent conversation. Arthur gave something to him, and Merlin slipped the leather cord under his blouse before Bran saw what it was. But he saw the knights look at each other, like they knew something, smiling lightly. And then they rode out of the Camelot.

()

They traveled quickly and without problems. When they finally reached, after some time, the border, night was falling.

"I hope he is not here again." Gwaine murmured and Merlin laughed.

"Who?" Bran asked.

"Grettir, the keeper of the bridge, that leads to the Perilous Lands." Merlin explained. "Just, don't do anything hasty. He is a powerful wizard."

Gwaine muttered something about flower power. They descended from horseback and reached the bridge.

"So, here again I see." Grettir grinned and Bran looked at the man and stepped forward.

"I'm here to seek help to find my brother."

"What you seek and what you want, is not my concern, Bran Fendigaidd. What you need is permission from the heir of the Fisher King to step over the border." Grettir said.

"Heir of the Fisher King?" Merlin asked and seemed surprised. Grettir's eyes narrowed as he looked Merlin.

"Yes, the heir."

"And who is this heir?" Gwaine asked. Grettir's smile was wider than ever.

"Oh, you have to wait until the morning. I'm sure that he will be here." And again the keeper's eyes narrowed when he looked at Merlin. Merlin put his hand to Bran's shoulder.

"I think we should do what he says."

"Wise words, wise words." Grettir nodded. "There is a nice place to stay over night. Just follow the river." Then he was gone.

"Let's go. It's really late." Elyan said and started to follow the river. They found a small clearing. Merlin prepared the camp, quickly and expertly. Late dinner was completed in an instant. Bran watched him worked around the campfire, clearly immersed in his thoughts. He did not interfere at all with the discussions when they tried to guess who was the heir. Eventually, they were ready to sleep. Bran noticed that Merlin made his bed away from the others. Something urged Bran to follow the example. When the quiet snoring echoed around the campfire, and Gwaine seemed to be half asleep on guard, Bran saw Merlin stand up and slip into the darkness. Bran followed silently behind. They headed for the bridge.

"You have come, magic. I have awaited your return sire." Grettir bowed when Merlin stepped into the light of the torches. Bran couldn't see Merlin's face, but he saw how tense he was.

"What was that? The heir of the Fisher King? What is going on?" Merlin tone was demanding, and powerful. Grettir winced.

"You obviously don't know. Do you remember when you came here, what I said before, that all I want is to see this realm alive again."

"Yes, I remember that." Merlin nodded.

"To make it happen, this realm needs a king. And the only king is the Fisher King's heir. His blood. And it's you. You are a descendant from him directly through your father's side."

After those words, there was a long silence.

"How you can be so sure?" Merlin's voice was little bit shaky when he asked.

"It's your magic. It's the prophecy of Emrys. You, Myrddin Emrys. And, before all, it's what he himself said to me. When he told me that you were coming." Grettir voice was full of sadness when he spoke about the previous king.

"You can't be serious."

"But I am. When you restore the magic, you must first accept your position here. A lot has been happening. And you need a position that guarantees you politically." Grettir tone was hard when presenting the fact.

"Me? The King?" Merlin started to laugh. "How I can be the king? There is no way that anyone could believe me. How am I supposed to prove that I'm the rightful heir of Fisher King?"

"Are you Myrddin Emrys, son of Balinor the Dragonlord?" Grettir asked. The question struck Merlin silent. Bran listened to the growing power with wonder.

"Yes, yes I am." Merlin said finally.

"Do you know who was your grandfather? Because I'm sure that everybody else knows who your father was. In Camelot's library is a family tree that reveals who you are. "

"Then tell me. Who was my grandfather?" Merlin whispered.

"You ever heard the name Aurelius Ambrosius?"

"Yes. Yes I have. He was… He was…" Merlin stammered. Bran gasped. Of course. If Merlin was Emrys, of course he was descendant to Ambrosius. How silly. "This can't be. Right? He? My grandfather? But that mean that Arthur is… Arthur is named after him! No, no no no no." Merlin backed off.

"Your two destiny is something very different. What Aurelius started, you two will complete it." Grettir said very determinedly.

"But then Arthur can be the king of this realm! I don't have to…"

"No, because Aurelius's sister was younger than he."

Bran saw how Merlin was swaying. "You are sure?"

"You can ask your uncle. I'm sure that Gaius knows." Grettir sighed.

"Gaius… Yes, maybe he knows. But how could he… How I can do this? How I'm supposed to be king? I'm just Merlin."

Those last words left Bran smiling. He remembered what Arthur had said. Merlin was Merlin.

"Yes, and that's a good thing. Be Merlin, because Merlin is the warlock, the king, the advisor. Merlin is many things that you don't know yet. But the time is coming and now, your friends need your permission to enter here. Do you give that to them?"

"Me? Of course." Merlin sounded confused as to why Grettir truly had to even ask that. Bran wanted to laugh aloud.

"Very well, sire. I'll see you tomorrow, your highness." Grettir bowed and disappeared.

"Don't you act like that tomorrow! You hear me? Damn. This is… This is ridiculous. This so stupid. This is so… Oh, that damn Kilgharrah. I kill him. And Gaius? How they dare to hide something like this. Although. I see the point. Ah, Kilgharrah, the castle, dragons, wyverns… " Merlin voice lowered and he looked around for any sign of followers. Bran started to slowly back off, then turned and was back at camp before Merlin returned.

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_Now…_

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Gwaine just sat there. Tankard of mead in his hand. Usually he didn't like the idea of silence. But when the days passed, sitting with Merlin, he learned to relax. The only thing he regretted was that he was thinking too much when he was alone with Merlin. Usually, he just avoided thinking because he knew that he wouldn't get any answers to his own questions. Noisy tavern talk prevented him from thinking too much about, well, anything. But when he was with Merlin, his thoughts rolled around in his mind, thinking of their journey to the Perilous Lands. Over and over again and he knew that he was missing something.

"I just hope that Lancelot could be here. I miss him. And I think that maybe he… You and him, you shared something. If he were here, he would know what you've gone and done again. He always knew about you. He always was there when you were in trouble. Said something, like he was protecting you from rest of us. It was so odd sometimes. But maybe he knew something about you we didn't. When we rode over that bridge, I saw how tense you were. You were so nervous. And Bran… How he looked at you. It was similar to how Lancelot used to at look you. With respect. Merlin, my friend. I just hope that someday you can tell me what is going on."

He looked at his friend and sighed. His gaze fell on Merlin's nails. There were silver nuance as well as the eyes. He shuddered. Merlin was changing, but why and into what?


	6. Dragons

_Then…_

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It was the second night and Merlin was on the move again. And Bran followed him again. Merlin lit up the torch when he arrived in the forest edge. Some distance away from them, the rocks rose to the heavens. Merlin put his torch on the ground and to Bran it seemed like the halo expanded, lighting up the clearing.

Something big moved in the darkness.

"You came." Merlin sounded happy.

"Of course I came. And she wanted to see you too." The voice was rough and playful.

Something small and white dashed out of the darkness and Merlin fell onto the ground. Bran was stunned at first, then he heard Merlin laugh with joy and stumbled up again. There was something in his shoulder.

"Miss you." The voice was quiet and more like a snake hissing.

"Oh, you can finally speak aloud Aithusa." Merlin was surprised.

"She is slowly learning." The big shadow moved forward in the torch's halo. Bran dropped to the ground in terror. It was a dragon. And big one. He heard that Arthur was killed the last one, but there was two of them right in front of his eyes. Then Bran realized. Arthur. Of course. And Merlin was Arthur's manservant, always riding beside him. And Merlin was the son of Balinor the Dragonlord.

"You know, soon you'll be too big to ride on my shoulders." Merlin laughed and pet the small dragon's head.

"So, Merlin. Why you have called us here?" The big dragon asked.

"You know the wyverns are there, in the castle." Merlin started.

"Yes."

"Can you take care of them? I don't want to kill, or let the others kill them."

The dragon looked at him and Bran was sure that it was smiling.

"Of course. I'm pleased to see that you are concerned about their survival."

"I don't know why but, you and Aithusa are the last ones. And wyverns. They are so close to be dragons. Or so I say but…"

"I understand. I myself don't think highly of them but, I understand. Maybe you are right somehow. I can command them to leave." The dragon agreed.

"Not far away, just so they are out of sight by tomorrow." Merlin specified. "I have some other things too… What is it Kilgharrah?" Merlin asked when the dragon raised its head higher. Bran was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was exposed. The dragon looked directly at the place where Bran lay hidden. Merlin turned and sighed.

"Come here. I want to hear what you have to say."

Bran stumbled out of the scrubs. He couldn't help it, but he was terrified.

"Bran?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… But I noticed you had left camp and I followed and…" Bran couldn't tear his gaze away from the small white dragon who sniffed the air front of him.

"So this is the great Bran Fendigaidd. " The dragon watched the prince and sounded pleased. "I'm glad to know that your family line is well and good."

Merlin gave a questioning glance, then he looked at Bran. "Bran. This is The Great Dragon, Kilgharrah. And this little fellow is Aithusa."

"Nice… to meet... you." Bran stammered. The big beast just stared at him.

"So Bran. What you are going to do?" Merlin asked, he looked worried.

"Oh, no, why I should say anything about this? No, I'm not… Ah, I... I heard last night. About who you really are." Bran tried to explain.

"Did you?" Merlin sounded resigned.

"Yes. You are the heir of the Fisher King."

It surprised him when the dragon started to laugh.

"Shut up Kilgharrah." Merlin snapped. "Why didn't you tell me? I'm sure that you knew this."

"Of course I knew. So, now you know. The time is near Merlin. We'll speak later, but I think that we must go now. Aithusa."

"Goodbye." The small dragon hissed and jumped lightly into the air. Kilgharrah followed the young one and soon they were just shadows under the stars. Merlin looked longingly after them. "Sometimes I wish that I could fly too."

"You have been up there?" Bran was shocked. He couldn't imagine himself so high.

"Yes."

They watched the dragons disappear.

"He didn't seem as… scary in the end." Bran stated.

"Oh, but he is, so don't ever mess with him." Merlin shook his head.

"I don't think that I will ever see him again." Bran laughed poorly. Merlin turned to watch him, and gave an odd look.

"No, I think you two may someday meet again." Then he picked up the torch and they returned to camp.

()

The next day they arrived at the castle.

"Here again." Gwaine grinned and looked up at the castle. "I have to say that I didn't miss this place at all."

Bran scanned his eyes over to Merlin who looked gloomy.

"I don't see wyverns." Bran whispered.

Merlin nodded and looked to him. "So, shall we go now?"

.

.

.

_Now…_

.

.

.

When Gaius entered the room, Merlin was laying on the floor, trying to catch his breath. The silver streaks were now almost completely covering his face. His long nails sank into the stone floor like to butter.

"Merlin, my boy. Calm down. You can do this. Just breathe. Please, breathe." Gaius begged. Merlin's eyes were open, his iris now fully silver. Then he stopped breathing and slumped, limp.

At first Gaius thought that it was the end. "Merlin…" His hand shook when he tried to touch the boy's cold face. Suddenly, Merlin's eyes opened and he took a deep breath. And slowly his chest had begun to rise and fall steadily.

Gaius cried.

He sat there on the floor and cried.

He didn't know what to do anymore.

He was too old to watch his ward die before him.

Watching in horror as the young life slowly flowed away.

Merlin was transforming into something. He didn't know why or what, but whatever it was, it was killing him slowly.


	7. Trap

_Then…_

.

.

.

Gwaine looked around him.

"No wyverns."

Bran looked at Merlin who grinned back at him.

"So, where are we going now?" Elyan asked. "Where do we start looking for that compass?"

Bran had not thought about it. He glanced again at Merlin, who looked around the castle courtyard.

"I once read about some of the catacombs here. One story says that there would be a hidden treasure within them."

"I too have heard about it. But the catacombs, I hate them." Gwaine noted.

"Nobody is forcing you to come." Merlin said. Gwaine stared at him.

"And if something happens to you, because _I _was not with you two, _Arthur_ would eat me alive."

"Then you'll come with us."

"I though that you were a good friend, but now I don't think so." Gwaine muttered. Percival patted Gwaine's shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll protect you."

Gwaine looked at his big friend. "Keep that in mind, really."

So they started to their way searching for the tombs. It didn't take much time locating it and when they looked through the doorway into the waiting darkness, even Bran hesitated. They found some torches and lit them, and began their descent down. The air was stale, and the narrow corridor led them straight. Then the corridor widened, and eventually they came to a crossroad.

"I have not seen anything on the walls, no clear signs of directions." Elyan said and lighting up the walls.

"Should we split up?" Percival asked.

"No, at least not yet." Merlin said thoughtfully.

"Merlin." Gwaine said.

"What?"

"Be careful. Remember what happened when we last visited this castle?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll keep that in mind." Merlin also browsed the walls. Then he saw a tiny red mark on the roof.

"Elyan, what about something like this?"

Elyan who looked the another way and shook his head.

"Wait here, I see there are more than that." Merlin walked forward and saw a second red marker. "I think it's this way."

They began to follow the signs. After some time they had a new crossroads.

"Do you see it?" Gwaine asked and Merlin nodded on the other side of the corridor. Bran was beside him. "I think someone has been here before us, and they must have marked the walls."

"Good for us." Gwaine grinned and started to walk toward Merlin. "But if there was someone here before us, maybe we won't find anything."

"But I have to take the risk." Bran sighed. "See, what sign is this?" He moved aside and the torchlight convoluted pattern. Merlin moved closer. Suddenly, the ground beneath their feet shook. They looked around alarmed.

"Do not say that the castle above us is going to fall now." Gwaine said. Again the ground shook and Gwaine retreated against the wall. " I knew that this was not a good idea." The next jolt caused him to sway and he used the wall for support. He was frightened when the wall suddenly gave way.

"Gwaine?" Merlin came forward, but then he felt Bran jerked him back.

"Look out!"

Something fell down landing with a thud. Merlin looked with astonishment at the stone wall what now rose between him and the knights. They were trapped.

.

.

.

_Now…_

.

.

.

Hunith touched her son's cold hand.

"Myrddin, fy mab." She whispered. Gaius patted his cousin's shoulder before he sat. It was heartbreaking to see Hunith with her son.

"Myrddin?" Arthur asked.

"My mother's language. Merlin's birth name." Hunith answered and stroked Merlin's face lightly and quickly.

"So you are from Wales." Arthur realized. He had never thought about it.

"Yes, but my parents moved to the south when I was small."

"And Merlin's father? He hasn't spoken much about him." Arthur was curious. Merlin never talked about himself.

"He… he was from here. Or raised here. He was born elsewhere." Hunith shook her head. She really didn't know much.

"Do you mean here, Camelot?" Arthur was surprised.

"Yes. That's all that I know." Hunith smiled.

"What was his name?"

Hunith looked Arthur. She didn't know how much Arthur really knew about Merlin's father or his fate because of Uther. But instead, it was Gaius who answered.

"Balinor Emrys."

Arthur turned to look the physician.

"So you knew him. Balinor Emrys? Its sounds familiar."

Gaius just smiled. "It's common name, or used to be when I was young. I think that I know more about Balinor than Hunith. Although I was young when he came here, I was one of his guardians. We became close friends."

"Guardians?" Arthur was confused. Gaius looked at him, estimating. Then he looked at Merlin. Maybe there was no need to hide anymore. Maybe it was time to tell the truth. Even though it was late to do so. But Arthur had a right to know. And Hunith, maybe she should know too.

"When Balinor's father was killed and his kingdom was took over by Vortigern, Balinor's aunt, Queen Anna wanted her brother's son brought here."

Then Gaius looked directly at Arthur, who stared at him, trying to understand what he heard.

"Grandmother? My grandmother Anna? What?"

"But, Emrys is a Welsh name." Hunith said suddenly. She looked her cousin. Gaius nodded.

"Because of you, and some other reasons too, Balinor chanced it. He changed his last name to your original language. And Emrys means…" Gaius looked at Arthur significantly. Maybe he didn't understand what it means, maybe…

"Ambrosius." Arthur noted and… "Merlin's father was Balinor Ambrosius." Suddenly it was all clear to Arthur. He just couldn't believe it. He blinked in confusion, wondering carefully what to say. There was only one Ambrosius who he remembered. "You mean, Balinor was Aurelius Ambrosius' son? So, then… Then that means… Balinor must be my father's cousin." Arthur shook his head, but Gaius just nodded his agreement.

" Why then, there is no sign of him in our family tree? Why did my father never tell me anything? I though that Aurelius' whole family died. Or so father told me." Arthur demanded to know.

"Uther removed all the evidence when he began the purge." Gaius' tone was dry. "But I think there is somewhere in the library, something that was left behind." He smirked.

"Why?"

"Because Balinor had magic."

The silence was deep and long. Arthur barely believed what he heard, but something told him that Gaius spoke the truth.

"Balinor, had magic? Balinor…" Arthur stared Gaius, and then he looked Merlin. His thoughts ran faster than ever. "You mean, that Balinor? The last Dragonlord? You mean that same man, Merlin's father, my father's cousin was a Dragonlord. When we… when we sought him to stop the Great Dragon and… Gods, I said those things to Merlin. That no one…" Arthur falls silent. There was so much to understand. He felt so tired. He looked at Merlin's mother. Was he looking equally shocked?

"My cousin." He whispered when he watched the motionless Merlin. "My... cousin." He shook his head. "Why? Why did I never know? Why? And my father, how he could… his own family."

"That explain why Morgana is also so powerful. They are the same blood. And when I saw Merlin, when Merlin came here all those years ago, I remember that prophecy. Emrys. I never knew, I never realized before I met him. My cousin's son was Emrys." Gaius's smile was weak. "Because Balinor chanced his name."

"What do you mean, by the prophecy?" Arthur asked. "Is there something more?"

"I…"

The door was slammed open and Gwaine was standing there puffing.

"Bran, he is here."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN **_

_**I though to do this explanation of Emrys, Ambrosius and so later, but because of a review bystargirl4eva, I though that maybe I should do this sooner. And maybe I added more later. But I don't want to explain too much either. So there are going to be empty places.**_

_**Because the legend of King Arthur is somehow like a myth and there are not a lot of facts, I picked up ideas from various sources and created my own Arthurian world. I'm sorry if someone is irritated or disappointed with my choices, or if some historical facts are distorted. I hope that you still like this. And about Gaius and Hunith, there are no direct references to the fact that they are siblings (or that I have noticed, you can correct me), but in some interviews, it has been mentioned that Gaius is Merlin's uncle, but I refuse that idea and took again, to my own ideas. **_

_**Thanks for all the reviews and Mark, if Bran would not be curious, life would be very boring ;)**_


	8. The Guard of the Compass

_Then…_

.

.

.

They didn't hear anything from the other side of the stonewall.

"I don't think that we have much of a choice. All we can to is continue on." Merlin said. It would have been easy to use magic, but it would have revealed to the knights, and Bran, who was still not yet aware of all of his secrets.

"Why do I have the impression that this is not the first time that you've gotten yourself into this kind of situation?" Bran asked.

Merlin shook his head and smiled. "Maybe not exactly like this, but something similar."

"So if you say that we should continue, we should do it."

"I think so, yes."

"Okay."

So they turned around and continued their journey deeper into the catacomb.

()

Gwaine stared the wall.

"Arthur is really gonna kill me." He murmured.

"Maybe. But should we try the other way or just wait?" Percival asked.

"I can imagine that this is not the only trap in here." Elyan said.

"We wait." Gwaine said. His voice was somehow, a final echo, the tone, which the others did not dare to resist. They were going to wait. Elyan looked at his follow knight. Sometimes, very rarely, Elyan thought that in Gwaine, there seemed to be two very different people. In the same way as Merlin. That other man who was alarmingly close to Arthur. Ruler, not a servant. It came up rarely, but when it did, no one dared to ask questions. Except, perhaps Percival.

"Why is that?"

Gwaine looked at him.

"Merlin usually knows what to do. And I trust him."

And there were no more questions.

()

There were no more traps. Or at least they did not come across any other traps. Merlin smiled. It was typical of Gwaine to hit one of them and lead them into trouble. Gwaine, unless he himself happened to set a booby trap off. His only concern was that they had no food or drink with them. And their journey wasn't short. Merlin thought that they had walked for hours, stopping in between to rest, to achieve anything. He saw how Bran began to give up hope and just when Merlin decided that after the next bend, if anything new should not be received, he would use his powers to bring them out, they arrived there. Ahead was a doorway that led into the darkness. They stopped. Merlin hesitated, but they had no alternatives. He pushed ahead, lifted his torch higher and whispered a few selected words. The light expanded. They both gasped for breath. Merlin had read and heard stories of treasure troves and caves, but in all his life, he didn't believe it possible to find such a thing. His eyes hit the mirror and he put the torch in front of him with caution. Light escaped from the tip, hitting another on its mirror, and gradually the whole cave's enormous size appeared to them in all its splendor.

"And how do we find, in the middle of all this gold and precious stones, a small compass?" Bran asked when they had wondered around for a while, before joining again. Merlin poked his foot at something that revealed to be a crystalline skull. However, it was hardly a human skull.

On a small table next to him, a goblet vaguely reminded him of something.

Bran was right. There was lot of stuff. Maybe he should use some kind of tracking spell.

"If you are looking for from that way and I will check here." Merlin suggested. Bran nodded and walked the other direction. Merlin grabbed a blue stone, and sighed. Suddenly he realized that all this was probably his. The idea made him sick.

"Ábeþecian."

Stone began to shine dimly. He followed the light. When the light brightened, he knew he was on the right track. But because the cave's huge size, tracking took time. Eventually, the stone nearly burned his hand and he knew that he was close to the Compass. He looked around and noticed a small wooden box which was engraved with directions.

"Bran!" Merlin called Bran, and soon Bran was with him.

"You found it. At long last." Bran stretched out his hand toward the box, and hesitated. He glanced at Merlin, who shrugged his shoulders. Bran took the box and picked it up.

"The moment of truth." Merlin smiled and Bran opened the lid. A puff of smoke caused him to throw the box to the ground and coughing, they retreated.

"What is ...?"

"I'm the guardian of the Compass." They heard a voice thundering through the cave. Merlin waved a hand through the smoke to see. He saw the character in the middle of the smoke. At last they saw a man who was wearing a simple white tunic.

"Guardian of the Compass? Right, that's right. I forgot it." Merlin coughed.

"My name is Bartimeus. What do you want?" Now the guard sounded normal.

"Are you human?" Bran asked puzzled, and looked at the man. Although he seemed a man, his eyes sparkled unnaturally.

"No."

"The smoke. The box. Human shape. You are jinn." Merlin realized.

"What is a jinni?" Bran asked.

"Spirit. Very powerful genie. There are many kinds of jinn, but, I know his name. Bartimeus. I have read about you." Merlin watched the jinn with curiosity which in turn looked him with great interest.

"Oh, your learned. I'm honored to meet you. And you are very powerful yourself, indeed. But, may I ask again, what do you two want?"

"I need that compass to find my brother." Bran explained.

"Very well. You may use it." Bartimeus shrugged his shoulders and stretched out his hand. On his palm rested a circular gold box. Bran glanced at Merlin.

"But?" Merlin guessed that there was more coming. He had read enough to know that none of the jinn did not do anything without a price. The jinn's smile was wolf's grin.

"I need the pledge. And the pledge is a human life." The jinn looked Bran. "If you not return the compass in time, I'll take that life and do with it whatever I please. That is the only way you can get this." He offered the compass.

"You can take my…" Bran stepped forward.

"No, it's doesn't work like that." Bartimeus shook his head. "Who takes the compass, must put someone who is close to him in danger. And only, if he accepts this." And the jinn turned again to look at Merlin.

"You mean… No! I can't ask anyone else to do something like that." Bran snapped.

"I accept." Merlin said looking the jinn carefully.

"What? No!" Bran screamed.

"Then, this is yours." Bartimeus smiled and threw the compass towards Bran, who grabbed it instinctively.

"No, I can't…. Merlin, you…"

"The deal is done. Now, let me see." Bartimeys walked front of Merlin. "Five months, when the year turns, on your birthday, that's the limit. If the compass is not returned to me, your life is mine to use."

Merlin nodded.

"I hope, for both your sake, that you know what you want most when the time comes." Bartimeus sighed. "Use the Compass and you can find your way out."

Then, he was gone.

.

.

.

_Now…_

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.

.

When Bran stepped inside the room he was too shocked, for a moment, to do anything.

"Merlin…" Bran whispered. Was he too late? He walked up to Merlin and squatted in front of him.

"What is happening to him Bran?" Arthur asked, trying to keep his voice neutral, but there was anger behind it.

"He put his life at stake for sake of the compass." Bran answered, without removing his gaze from Merlin. "Without him, there was no chance for me to take the compass. I asked why he did it, but, he didn't say."

"It's because he is too loyal. He put his life on the line for much less than this." Arthur sighed. He had seen that happen too many times.

"But I don't know for sure what this is. Maybe its part of the deal that he made." Bran watched the silver streaks on Merlin's skin, his hands and eyes. He was too immobile. His breathing, he hardly noticed. Bran took something out of his pocket and placed it in Merlin's hand. He clenched Merlin's hands around it.

"Merlin, please, take this. Find your way back to us."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Hello again. As I said to my beta **_**TheJunebug 1218**_**, that rather surprisingly I have started to write longer chapters. I do not know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. **

**But one problem I have.**

**When this story ends, I then begin to write a sequel either the story **_**Tired**_** or **_**Future to remember**_**, and I can't decide which one. Both stories get more and more alerts every day. So I'm going to follow the advice that I write it in the story I have received more reviews. So, you still have time to comment those stories before this story ends.**


	9. Now it is Merlin

_Now..._

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I can't find my way out of the darkness.

I'm lost.

I walk and I walk.

Never tired, never sleeping, never hungry, and never thirsty.

But I'm not afraid. This darkness is a safe place. It is like a blanket, wrapped around me, keeping the cold and the loneliness away. I do not know how long I'm gone, when I finally see something. A lonely little light. I start to walk towards it. I aim for it, but it goes away. I realize that it is a star. I can see the sky. The star-filled, night sky. I realize that I'm not running anymore, and I sit. I turn my head. Someone is sitting next to me. I recognize him. Bran. In a deep sleep. Leaning his chin against his palm.

I look at my hands. Bartimeus' magic is strong, and very strange. It changes me slowly. It changes me into something, but I cannot quite comprehend what. Or why Bartimeus chose to do so. But one thing I'm sure of. I arise. I look around. This was once the king's room. The view from the window is the best over the city. I smile.

I look in the mirror. I flinch. I realize that my time is running out. But I want to do this. I notice that someone is lying in the bed. I walk next to it. My mother. She, too, is here.

"I'm so sorry mother that you have to worry about me again. It's hard to remember when you haven't been here for me. I have always depended on you, I always need you. Your arms always reached out to hold me. If I could, I would give up everything for you, to give you what you need most. I love you mother."

I place a kiss on her forehead and I leave the room behind me.

I walk through the quiet and empty corridors. It is cold. It is wintertime. I think of where to go first and my feet lead me to Gwaine's lodge. I hope that he is not on one of his downtown night expeditions. When I open the door I find my wish has been granted. I find Gwaine sleeping on his bed. I grin. I sit beside him. It is odd when he is silent.

"Gwaine, my friend, I have so much to tell you. Next time, when we meet again, I'll say this, my friend, I promise, if you put it down full, I'll drink it all. If you leave it half full, I'll want more. I promise. And that mead is for broken hearts and souls, for those who yearn. That mead is for those who bear the heavy load of life and silently suffer in the shadows. And you'll ask why? Why do we toast for them? And I'll say, because this mead will wipe away all our troubles and will carry us to tomorrow. So put this stein on the table, full. Take a sip. Enjoy your life. And for a moment, we can't feel the pain. That mead is waiting for us. Oh, I wish that Lancelot could be here. "

And I left him there, hoping that his sleep was deep and peaceful. And I walked forward, up toward Gaius' chambers. When I found him, he, once again, had fallen asleep at his desk. I blew out the candle next to his elbow. I walk around the room, peeking into my own room. I look at him.

"Gaius, you are like a father to me. You have taught and guided me over these trying years. You have kept my secrets. You are so generous, gracious and good. I don't know how to repay to you. Although I know that you are never going to ask for anything. Because you have believed me all this time and will always stand by me."

At the door I hesitate. I look at him one more time and sigh.

This is my home, these rooms.

If I can return, will they still be mine?

Now I have to hurry.

Again I hesitate before another door, but then I gather my courage and I step inside. Gwen, the beautiful Guinevere. Her sleep is restless. I crouch down beside her and whisper.

"Gwen, you don't ever realize that you are our strength, you will keep us afloat. You have a knight's courage and pride. Your choices will subscribe more than anyone else's. Your word is last and has the most weight. Your love for all of us is something we do not yet appreciate. You are our hope for the future I hope for the best to you Guinevere, my Queen."

And I press a kiss to her forehead. I leave with tears in my eyes.

Only one is left. The one I respect and fear the most. He is my dearest friend. We are wrapped together in a way that transcends all. My other half... We will stand together in the dawn of a era.

Arthur, sleeping in his chair before the fireplace. I touch his hand. I want to say so much. But I do not have time. I back off. I watch the fire dancing in the fireplace.

"Do you already know that we are family? It's hard to believe, I know. And I'm a king too! Can you believe it? But I don't want to be. I have too much work to do, to rule over a kingdom. I think that we'll have to work something out. I have one idea. Arthur, when I come back, I'm going to entrust my life to you. Literally. And you have to believe that someday, I'll come back home."

I consider him one more time. Reluctantly I turn and go. I head again toward Uther's old rooms. Morning is coming. I hear weak voices as the guards and the servants wake.

I close the door behind me carefully. I watch Bran.

"Bran, you are going to be great someday. When I saw you and Kilgharrah, I just knew. I hope that I can see that day come."

And finally I turn to look at my own body. Is that really me? I lower my hands to my own hands, which hold the compass. The compass is showing me the way. It is showing me how to achieve one of my fondest desires. I understand now how devious Bartimeus is. He did not want to punish the life which he holds in his hands. If Bran would have failed, Bartimeus didn't want to take own my life. He wants to show the way, give a second chance. How valuable that information is and how much I appreciate it.

Now, I know.

It is time to fly.


	10. Then it was Bran

MamzelleHermy_, **again**, this is because you hoped to see more of what had happen after the deal between Bran, Merlin and the Knights. Originally my plan was jump over this chapter, but then because your feedback I got inspiration. But because it was so long chapter I separeted NOW and THEN to diferent chapters. And it's because the upcoming chapter that I did NOW first and THEN now. _

_I really hope that you ALL like this chapter. Let me know :)_

_And really, thank you all of your rewievs. I couldn respond because there is somekind of problems Fanfiction side. And, _MerlinFan1996_, I think that I have done my job well if I had you in tears ;) _

_But I have again problem. I don't know if I do epilogue or what kind. There is so many way. I think one thing but I m not happy about it. So, what you want to hear at the end? Tell me that I can get again the inspiration because of you LOL._

* * *

><p><em>Then…<em>

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.

.

I looked at the compass. It was beautiful. It shone weakly in the dark.

"Open it." Merlin said and I watched me impatiently. And I opened the top.

I hadn't seen a real compass ever in my life, only in pictures. But I knew that this compass was really different from the rest. The machine rose up when the top opened. It reminded me of the spherical figure of a sundial.

"How am I supposed to know how to interpret this?" I asked, looking astonished at the golden shimmering machinery. Merlin stooped down to examine the compass from up close.

"Focus. What do you want to find the most right now?"

"The way out of here?" I asked weakly, and Merlin smiled dimly. I focused on the compass. The arrow in the middle of the ball started rolling wildly until finally showed the arrow pointing forward. Merlin looked at me.

"I guess it's best to follow it."

I nodded.

Merlin picked up his torch, and darkness fell upon the cave again. I felt the need to accelerate my steps and leave the scene as quickly as possible. I followed the compass back to the maze of catacombs. Soon, we were on a different route than by coming. I looked at Merlin who was walking behind me.

"What do you think the others have done?"

"I hope that they have made it out. It would be regrettable to start seeing them stuck somewhere in here. And, I'm not sure they would make it, with the amount of traps this place holds. Could be just luck that we didn't encounter any other worse traps."

I looked down at the compass.

"Should I think about taking the safe route?"

Merlin grinned. "Hardly, but it wouldn't do harm either."

I think that the return trip took a little longer than the last time. I was exhausted, and Merlin seemed to be in a worse condition than I was. I remembered what Arthur and Guinevere had said. Now, after we had walked for hours without food or water, Merlin's condition took a turn for the worse. Eventually, he asked if we could stop and he slumped onto the ground, leaning against a stone wall.

"You are not well." I noted.

Merlin shook his head but didn't said anything.

"Listen. If you stay here and wait until I come back with some water. " I suggested.

"No, it's okay. Only a few moments of rest and I'll be fine."

I watched him with doubt when he clambered up. It didn't take long before his legs betrayed him.

"I'll go ahead and you wait here. It won't take much longer to get out of here and find the others." Merlin was forced to concede, and so I left him behind. I didn't like the idea either, but Merlin was clearly too weak to continue. I was afraid to ask if he was wounded, but it had to be bad because he was still so weak.

My journey didn't last long like I had guessed, and I ran out into the fresh air from the forgotten depths of the cellar. I gasped. I was dizzy. I looked around and realized I was close to our original starting point. I stumbled forward and shouted for the knights. Gwaine was the first one who runs toward me.

"Bran. Damn. Where is Merlin?"

"He is in poor condition. You had all our supplies and we have been without food and drink."

"By the gods. Rest, and then take me to him." Gwaine ordered and sat down with a sigh. He looked at me, still questioning.

"What?"

"So, did you find it? Do you have it?"

Grinning, I took out a compass.

"Glad that we didn't make a useless journey." Gwaine chuckled and began to pack some supplies to take with us.

My strength began to recover rapidly, and soon we were on the move back down into the cellars depths.

Merlin was asleep when we reached him.

Gwaine just looked at him and shook his head. Then he, light as a feather, lifted Merlin into his arms and we started once again, on the return trip. We were nearly there when Merlin muttered something with his face huddled Gwaine's jacket. I didn't hear what he said, but Gwaine chuckled.

"Don't be silly. You'll stay right there and that's it."

Merlin muttered again, and now Gwaine howled with laughter.

"Am I suppose to do something like that?"

Merlin's ambiguous response made Gwaine to hiccup.

I smiled. On the way to the castle, I had already discovered how close Gwaine and Merlin were. They were suspiciously similar, with slightly warped sense of humour, and both were great storytellers. They were loyal and faithful and believed in equality without hesitation. Merlin was perhaps overly sensitive, but only Merlin seemed to put Gwaine in order when he was inspired too much. And, once again, we were out.

Merlin recovered slowly, and Percival growled something about stubborn servants. Gwaine bombarded him with small stones until Elyan intervened. When peace finally came in the night, I found Merlin sitting in the castle courtyard at the foot of a tree. It looked dead, but I noticed a small white flower blossoming in the upper branches. Perhaps there was still hope.

Merlin glanced at me.

"Are you going tomorrow?"

"The compass shows east." I sat down with him. "Why did you do it Merlin?"

He just shook his head and didn't answer. For some reason I couldn't get an answer out of him.

"I will restore the compass on time." I said. Merlin nodded.

There we sat, and Merlin dozed. I stared at the starry sky wondering about the dragons.

In the morning, I said my good-byes to the castle and our small group, and left.

()

Finding Will took me longer that what I had expected. He was far away, and his rescue took its toll on me. The return journey was rocky and slow, and the ever-worsening winter weather hindered us. Eventually we were at our kingdom's border and I left Will there to continue the journey with our own Knights. I had sent a message to my father earlier, telling him that we were coming back, and now, I send a message to Camelot. I knew that I hadn't the time to get myself back to Bartimeus by the date I promised, but I had to see Merlin. Winter still slowed my journey. I started to get desperate when I finally reached Camelot's border. But I was still three days' journey to the castle, and I began to suspect that I couldn't reach it in time.

I was camped for the night in a forest clearing and the snow blew around me when I saw someone coming out of the forest. I stood up and sought my sword.

"I am not here with evil intentions. I am here to help Merlin." A quiet voice said.

I watched, amazed, as a woman who was wrapped with a light red cape and hood stepped into my view.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Freya. One of the guardians of the lake of Avalon. I'm here because you need to hurry Bran Fendigaidd."

"I know, but the snow slows down my journey." I said desperately. Freya smiled to me.

"That's why I have come to help you. There is someone who has promised to take you to the city. She comes soon. And when she comes you have to remember three rules."

"Anything if it will help me reach Camelot faster."

Freya nodded with satisfaction.

"First, your helper is woman. A woman, whose beauty is enchanting, but deadly. So do not speak to her, do not ask her name, do not touch her, and do not in any way look into her eyes. If you do it, you are forever hers. Secondly, when you step onto her sled, hide yourself and your head under the blankets. Do not look out, wait until you have stopped. You'll die if you do, so watch out, because the cold during the trip can kill you. Third, when you leave the sled, keep your eyes on the ground, bow and thank her. If she speaks to you, perhaps, respond only if she asks for something directly, but keep your eyes on the ground at all time. Otherwise, do not speak to her."

I wondered about what she had said, but I accepted, I had no choice after all. Freya disappeared back into the woods and I was left to wait. I didn't have to wait long. The air suddenly felt even colder and the fire began to fade no matter how I tried to stoke it. I gave up. Perhaps it was better because the next moment a gust of wind caused me shudder with only the protection of my own body heat. When the wind finally abated I looked around in amazement and in a bright white light which had shone through the clearing, I saw the sleigh. The sled and two white reindeer in front of it. And the sleigh driver was a woman dressed with a white fur coat. She was the likes of which I had never seen. She had long white hair and silver matte skin. Her beauty struck my eyes, and only at the last-minute did I remember that I couldn't look her in the eye. It broke my heart.

This woman was no earthly creature. She was one of the gods, perhaps one of the oldest. I packed my belongings and quickly climbed into the sleigh. I hid under the blankets to able to avoid death. I heard the whip swish through the air and the sleigh started. I felt the sled lean and jerk, so much that I feared that I would still drop out of the sled, but then it straightened. Then I heard only the wind and frost crackle. Our journey too little time, but it still seemed like an eternity. An eternity of that beauty, and often I came close cutting off my hands, so that I wouldn't peek out. I breathed the hot muggy air under the blankets, and when I finally felt that I couldn't take any more, the sled leaned back. We were slowing down. A subdued knock of the runners and we hit the snow and slid forward slowly. Eventually, we stopped. I crawled out and desperately tried to hold my gaze on the ground.

"I thank you." I said, and bowed.

And her voice was like a crystal mountain stream, as she was talking.

"Tell him Bran Fendigaidd, that someday he must come visit my palace in the North. If he comes out of this alive. He owes me for this service, as request from his bride. Good luck, Rider."

I heard the whip ring, and the reindeer took a few steps forward. The sleigh started its journey once more. Soon, I couldn't hear anything anymore. I lifted my eyes up. She was gone. I sighed. I knew I would miss her, for the rest of my life, without being able to forget her even for a moment. The price I paid for the journey, but I didn't feel sorrow.

And when I turned I saw it.

Finally.

The Camelot.


	11. 11 Flying to the sky

Bran looked around, but he couldn't find Merlin. He was gone.

"Hunith, Hunith! My lady!" He ran to wake Merlin's mother, who woke and stood quickly, her face pale.

"Bran. What now? Is something wrong with Merlin?" Her voice almost broke.

"He's gone."

"Gone?"

"I mean left."

"Left?" Hunith looked around bewildered. "How, how did he ..."

Bran didn't stop to think about it, but rushed to the door. He had only grabbed the door handle when the door was pushed open, and he fell.

"Merlin!"

"Arthur? What are you doing here? "Bran said, and crawled up.

"I had a strange feeling. Just like I have heard Merlin's calling." Arthur looked around.

"He's gone. Left. Where would he go to Arthur?" Bran announced him. Arthur stared at him in wonder and then he got an idea. He turned around and left running. Bran and Hunith followed him.

"Where are we going?" Bran yelled after him.

"Up, up the castle, to the great wall. He always wants to see the sky. That's why I gave him that room." Arthur rushed forward. Fear filled his heart. He couldn't understand what was going on, but he had a pressing need to see Merlin now. He ran through the corridors, up and up, up toward the highest rampart. It was, for them both, a place where they could clear their thoughts and enjoy a moment of peace. There, they discussed issues without fear that someone would overhear them. There, Merlin would have been able to spend time for hours, just staring at the sky if Arthur wouldn't have been seeking him back in.

"Merlin!" He called him when he stepped outside. Then he stopped.

"Merlin…" His voice was now just a whisper. What he saw almost stopped his heart.

Merlin glowed. He was wearing only his pants, he had torn off everything else. His skin's convoluted patterns were pulsing in the darkness. It was simultaneously terrifying and beautiful. Merlin's gaze was directed toward the sunrise, and the golden light mixed with silver shine. Arthur couldn't move. He stared, astonished and scared, words stuck in his throat. He heard, behind him, the others come out, but they, too, fell silent. Suddenly the patterns exited the skin. They began to revolve around Merlin, dancing wildly. Merlin raised his face and deep in his throat, he made a raspy voice, low and deep, full of power. Arthur dimly realized that Merlin was talking in the old language.

And they could hear the distant response. A roar that was very familiar, and made the hairs on Arthur's neck stand up.

"The Great Dragon." He whispered, and indeed, the great creature appeared out of the clouds.

"Kilgharrah. Aithusa." Arthur heard Bran saying. "Now I understand. Merlin, he is becoming… He, he ..." Bran voice faded away as a blinding light filled their field of vision. Arthur turned away, covering his eyes.

When he felt the light eventually taper off, he quickly turned to look. But he didn't see Merlin. He stumbled backward. On the castle wall stood a dragon. Its scales shone silver in the light of the rising sun. Its narrow noble head turned to look at them.

"Arthur." Its voice was deeper than before, but it was clearly Merlin's voice.

"How ... how did you ..." Arthur took a hesitant step forward. Merlin turned gracefully to face him.

"I do not have a lot of time. I have to take back the Compass, or otherwise this will be my permanent form."

"What's going on Merlin?" Arthur demanded to know. Merlin's golden eyes reached him.

"Bran can explain to you everything he knows, but even he doesn't know everything. Enough, but I will have to tell you the rest. I want to tell the rest. I hope that you will let me explain." Merlin's eyes left him. "Mother."

"Oh, Merlin." Hunith whispered. She overtook Arthur and walked beside the dragon. Merlin dropped his head and Hunith pressed against it.

"Mother, I have to go. I have to hurry. My time is up. I can not be sure ..."

"Shh, my dear. Just go now." Hunith distanced herself from him. Arthur pulled her close to himself.

"Go Merlin."

And Merlin stood up, his huge wings spread out. His head arched up and with one jump, he was in the air and the wings hit the upward air current once, capturing the air. Arthur realized now, the third dragon. Small and white, who rushed towards Merlin and was flying around him. Wings captured the wind and the dragons rose and headed south.

Very soon they were gone.

On the wall, everybody was silent.

Arthur looked at Bran, who seemed a little sheepish. But also afraid. "His time is almost gone." He said. "If he is not there on time he…"

"He will be back." Arthur said. He didn't know how he was so sure about it, but he was. One day Merlin would return home.


	12. Even if I want

_This chapter was inspirited by Owl City's song To the sky and by TheJunebug1218's advice. Thanks._

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><p>When my feet came off the wall and I flapped my wings. And when I caught the wind, it felt like I was in a dream. I bid my goodbyes to the ground. Up, up in the sky I flew.<p>

_Kilgharrah! Aithusa!_ I roared.

Aithusa stormed toward me, and circled around me happily and playful. Kilgharrah settled farther above me.

_Merlin, to the south, use the tail, spread your wings more. Do not forget why you're here. Hurry Merlin. _

I just wanted to forget everything else and just concentrate on flying. There was a dreamy world, unknown to me. How I hoped that the wind would bear me far away. Like light traveling from so far away. But I followed Kilgharrah to the south.

_Your eyes are so golden Merlin. They are so bright._ Aithusa roared to me.

I laughed. _I can feel it how _t_hese wings can take me so high. Where ever I want to go. Up, up there where the stars are all around me._

_Please, chase your dreams later Merlin. Remember always, this is a stormy world up here. You must be careful. _

I sighed. We flew far above the trees. The land beneath us was just waking up from its slumber. But now I found that the air was what I longed for most. A sense of freedom. I knew that I had to return to the ground, but I also knew that when the time came, I would find myself in the sky flying towards the unknown.

Far on the horizon, I saw a twilight silhouette. The Fisher King's castle. My fortress. I started to curve downward with Aithusa. Kilgharrah headed to my other side.

_Use your wings._ Aithusa advised quickly and went on before me toward the wall, showing by example. The take-off was easy, but landing on a small area, and I'm not a small dragon, was much more difficult. I almost flew over the wall when my claws hit the stones. I swayed and almost plummeted downward. I heard Aithusa laugh. I flashed my teeth warningly to her. She just laughed more.

_Stop that and change back. You have to hurry._ Kilgharrah's scolding sound reached me.

I focused. The change was much easier now. I missed-my dragon form. I missed the sky and the wind.

_Will we fly together again soon?_ Aithusa rejoiced.

I smiled at him. "Sure."

_Aithusa_. Kilgharrah warned the youngling. I looked at the compass in my hand. I quickly thought the spell in my mind and I cast it.

I was forced to wait. I hoped fervently that the call would work. I was not sure how deep the cave was. But my fears were in vain. For a moment, the air shimmered in front of me and then Bartimeus appeared in front of me putting out the compass's box for me.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I did."

Bartimeus received the compass and a closed the box.

"And apparently Bran also found what he was looking for."

"I believe so." I hadn't time with Bran to talk before I left. Bartimeus nodded with satisfaction. "Someday, we need to talk more."

"I hope so." I admitted.

"Goodbye my lord." And he was gone again.

Aithusa spun around me. "What now?" His hissing voice inquired. I looked around the castle ruins. There was a lot to do. And I didn't know where to start. Or what exactly I was going to do. There was Arthur and others waiting. I wanted to thank Bran. Somewhere in these Perilous Lands were people, humans and others. And there was still my destiny. I sighed deeply. A lot of work to do, but so it must be. I can't avoid this all even if I want.

Aithusa waited for me to answer. I pet her head.

"Now, we make plans. And then, we'll fly again."

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><p><strong><em>This was fun to wrote. Really. I liked this so much. O<em>_riginally this was supposed to be only oneshot. And now…_**

**_I feel bad because last time I got really really much alerts and now this was the last chapter. So sorry. But because I have promised to write sequel to my other story Future to remember, I leave this behind for a while. _**

**_My thanks to TheJunebug1218 (please, read her stories too) and to those who always bother to give feedback and who have also followed my other stories in general. You really make my day better._**


	13. AN

AN

To you who wants to know:

Little sequel /tag is **Snowy days**, but I'm going to do sequel one day.


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